Tips to Help Parents Control their Anger When Dealing With Children
Anger can be a powerful emotion for both parents and children alike. It is important to learn how to control your anger when parenting to ensure that both you and your child are safe and healthy. There are several strategies you can use to help you control your anger and ensure that you remain calm and collected when parenting.
Have you ever said to yourself, “I will never yell at my kids now that I’m a parent”? Now that you’re a parent, it’s no surprise that your patience is at an all-time low when your child is tearing up your furniture and throwing things about the room. After all, by the time they’re your own age, most children are testing your limits with their constant questioning and testing of your boundaries. As a parent experiencing a child’s tantrum for the very first time in your life, you may think that screaming your head off is going to solve the problem. But it doesn’t. So how do you keep your anger in check so that you don’t let it ruin your day? Well, we’re here to help. Find out how to not lose your cool when your child is throwing a tantrum in this article.
Human nature requires that we periodically enter “fight or flight” mode, and when we do, our own children might start to appear like the enemy. When we allow anger control us, our bodies become dangerous instruments. Every time we experience an emotion, our bodies release a tidal wave of hormones and neurotransmitters. These triggers raise blood pressure, pulse rate, and breathing rate, all of which add to the sense of tension already present in the body. It’s tough to stay calm under pressure, but as parents, we know that yelling at our kids isn’t what we really want to do, even if it might make us feel better in the moment. Keep in mind that your wrath, not your children, is the main threat. Here are some strategies you may use to combat your anger and win.
Limit Your Anger
When we lose our cool with our kids, it’s usually because we haven’t established a strong enough boundary around their irritating behaviour. When you’re in a state of rage, that’s when it’s time to act. But you can’t shout at them; you have to act constructively to stop the annoying behaviour before it escalates.
If your kids are playing a dangerous game that’s starting to get on your nerves, or if they’re taking too long to finish what you asked, or they’re fighting while you’re on the phone, you may need to stop what you’re doing, confirm your expectations, and redirect them in order to keep things from getting worse.
Listen to yourself
Maybe the answer is simple: enforce the rules before the situation escalates, put the children to bed an hour early, or make peace with a child that doesn’t follow the rules to get them to stop being disrespectful to you.
When one parent doesn’t do their fair share of housework, it’s easy for the second parent to take the fall.
Sometimes we need to see a counsellor or join a support group for those who want to self-help because we’re carrying around pent-up anger that we’re passing onto our children.
Listen to how you sound.
Studies have shown that people respond better when we speak more softly. In the same way, using swear words or other emotional language will only make you and your kids more angry. When we talk to someone, the way we speak and the words we choose can either make us feel better or make the other person feel bad.
Anger is a part of us, just like every other feeling, and we need to learn how to show it in a healthy way, especially around kids. Even though kids can get to you in a lot of different ways, exploding won’t make anything better. As a parent, you need to control your anger and show your inner angel of peace. Once you calm down, you’ve already won half the battle.